March 24, 2015

Two amazing things happened for me last night.

First, I’ve been praying that Owen would learn to sleep by me on the nights when he wakes to be fed.

Up to now, I’ve felt a little like I’m in a wrestling match. He wiggles and crawls, pulls hair and is pretty much impossible to sleep with- it has made for some very long nights, especially while he has been sick.

Last night, he was coughing and woke up in the middle of the night. I snuggled him
close to feed him. He nursed for a good long time and then drifted off into the most peaceful, wonderful sleep. He hasn’t done this since he was a tiny baby.

I was so excited! I had a hard time drifting back off to sleep-but I managed. 🙂
He slept the rest of the night. He’s such a sweet boy.

My second (HUGE) blessing.

For more than a year after my mom died, I prayed the Lord would allow me to dream of her.

I wanted to remember her whole and healthy- not those last moments.

Last night, I dreamed I was attending the upcoming wedding of a sweet family friend.

As I was about to enter the room, I was talking with the mother of the groom. She was telling me about her new daughter-in-law. She was proud of her, and it was fun to listen to her describing what she loved about this young woman.

Over her shoulder, I could see in the door, and into the room behind. I thought I saw my mom pass by- knowing I must be mistaken, I went back to conversation- and then I saw her walk by again.

This time, I mentioned to another friend who had been standing behind me. She responded, “Tracy, that WAS your mom!”.

I began to tremble violently as the children and I headed straight for that room.

There she was- smiling, healthy and whole. Her hair was long and beautiful just like the days before cancer and before chemo. She went down the line looking deep into the faces of each of my children. She held each one in her hands. She looked over to me and told they had all grown so beautiful.

She knew she had missed time but there was no sadness. No death. It was only her quiet beauty.

She had on black slacks and the prettiest light periwinkle blouse with a peter-pan collar.

There was no cane, and no limping. I wish I could have lingered for many moments more.

What a wonderful thing to feel my mother’s love for me again… a prayer I’ve held to myself for all of this time and the Lord answered.

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