Missing Mama

I’m missing my mom today.

Our newest blessing is soon to arrive. There have been no homemade gifts from Grandmommy. There have been no evening calls to find out how things are going. She hasn’t gone with us for coming home outfits, nor offered to come out and help with the cooking to stock our freezer.

Has it really been almost a year?

My heart still hurts…actually aches to speak with her. I want to share this little one with her and see him sitting in her lap.

I want to share all of Joshua’s happenings. I know she would love hearing about his latest adventures in searching for a home.

New teeth, littles reading, Jacob made employee of the month (again!)….more things happening than I can count each and every day.
I know there are many who don’t understand why I still find myself here, in this place, so often.

I can’t explain what it is like to lose your mother. I haven’t had my father for many years.

She was just always there…I still feel a bit traumatized by the events that were taking place at this time last year.

It’s a place that has taught me more compassion, more understanding, and more patience.  Those are positive things…I just feel sad.

I would appreciate prayer in the coming weeks. While I’m excited to meet this new little man that I feel growing each day, I also know that I have to face yet another moment, more memories, without sharing them with her.

“We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, ‘Blessed are they that mourn,’ and I accept it. I’ve got nothing that I hadn’t bargained for. Of curse it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not imagination.”
― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *