May 16, 2013

Years ago, when I started this blog, it was on a journey to find joy- a place I longed to be, and found in the most unexpected place….at the feet of learning to be thankful for my blessings. So, here I am…struggling to find joy, at times.  I feel weepy, and sad, and I miss my mama. I realized today,…

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May 14, 2013

When I finally fall asleep at night, I dream of my mom….she just looks at me. I wake up feeling so sorry that she’s gone- but knowing she is in a better place, not sick, and not hurting.  I miss her. This afternoon, I fell asleep for the nap I’m long overdue for– I’m just so tired. I dreamed I…

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May 8, 2013

I’m not sure my body has ever felt so weary. I lay in bed for long lengths of time thinking over the past months, and especially over the last week and I want to be sick. It’s the most odd feeling to think of this year.  January seemed like a fresh year…who would know five months later we would be…

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She’s a Person

She’s not a number, not a file. She’s not another task on a list to be crossed off. She has feelings. She has concerns and cares- just me and just like you. It’s amazing to me a place dealing with such catastrophic issues can show such a lack of compassion to their patients. It all seems like business. This morning,…

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This Week

First, thank you Aunt Judy! Your card arrived, of course, on a day when I most needed it. Yesterday, I mailed my mama’s hair off. I didn’t think it would bother me, but it did. In fact, I don’t think I made it out the door of the post office before the tears began to fall down my cheeks. You…

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An Update- March 22, 2013

Yesterday, found me thinking back to December.  Things seemed so normal- normal for us, anyway. Much has happened recently.  Things with my mom, and with my children.  Paul hasn’t been home more than a day- he was home for all of 18 hours yesterday. I guess I’m not complaining, I’m maybe just tired. I find myself, at this point, just…

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Library Time

Mama introduced Meredith the library computers last week… Grandmommy opened a whole new world to her. She was a sad girl when I told her we needed to head home.

March 15, 2013

Thank you for the prayers for my family. They have been much needed, and appreciated. These last few days have been some of the most difficult of my life. Monday, I was home. It was just a normal day for our family. I *so* miss those days. Tuesday, we went for a tour of the chemo lab and met with…

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Well, we’re looking for the bright side of life right now. Emma, found it in the gift basket my mama’s work had delivered last week:

March 13, 2013

This week has been so full of doctor appointments. Yesterday, we met the chemo doctors.  Today, mom had surgery to place the catheter that will deliver the chemo meds to her body. It was hard to see her going through so much. Tomorrow, is the first chemo therapy treatment.  I know that it’s not a cure for my mom.  I…

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Our Latest Journey

Mama taking the barium for her CT scan Certainly not the yummiest thing, but she managed to drink it. Yuck. Pictures of the beautiful aquarium at the cancer center. It is positioned in the middle of the waiting area….it’s such a beautiful thing to watch these fish as you wait.