August 28, 2015

Tracy / August 29, 2015

The days are feeling cooler.

Can it be?

Fall seems early this year. The days seem unseasonably cool.

The summer has been warm, but nothing like what I’m used to for southern summertime. My roses seem to be enjoying the cooler days.

I am thankful for the milder temperatures, but I think this winter will find me missing the beautiful summer days.

The days here have been busy, as usual!

There was a trip to a LEGO exhibit– that was AMAZING.

Also, we went to see the Southern Museum of Flight in Birmingham. Most of my family had been at one point, or another. I had not- it was a nice little museum. I think I would like to visit again soon.

Jackson celebrated a birthday. What a big boy he is becoming! We enjoyed his birthday so very much. It’s exciting to see his personality beginning to develop.

He’s only three, but I can’t seem to remember life before he arrived in our family.

Jackson and I went to visit my grandmother last week for his birthday. She slept nearly the entire time we were there, though she would wake to chat here and there.

My last few visits have been difficult. She has been crying so much. I had wondered if her medication was off some, but the nurse told Matthew that she thinks dementia is running its ugly course.

That makes me sad. If you happen to think on her this week, please pray for her.

While I was visiting with her and she slept, I stitched the arm back on Jackson’s monkey.
The arm is horribly high. I think my mind was in other places and I wasn’t paying attention. It doesn’t seem to bother him much but I’m sure I need to fix that before he notices!

Grandmother thought he was so cute. She played with him as she drifted in and out of sleep. I’m thankful he has this time with her. My time with my great-grandmother was so precious to me.

As I sat and waited on my time to leave, I used my sewing supplies to begin repairing the quilt I made Grandmother several years ago.

It needed a lot of work!

I remember cutting the pieces for this little quilt. I mostly used scraps of things I had around the house.

It ended up being a mixture of memories for me…pieces from the bedspread my Mama made for me when I was a little girl, little pieces from clothing I’ve made for my children, pieces from a quilt I made for my mom, pieces from rice socks I made for the children when they weren’t feeling well…and on, and on.

It was a beautiful thing to sit and hold. They were all little pieces, visible memories of my life.

I’ll go and visit Grandmother again this week.

I cherish each and every one of these visits with her. I’m so thankful the Lord allowed me this time with her, especially since my mom is gone.

One last thing before I go. I think I’m finally ready to start really writing about cancer.

My mom was fighting until the day she passed.

I have never had experience with this horrible disease before, and it has left me changed. I know it’s not all bad. I think I have a better understanding for those watching their loved ones suffer now.

It’s been two years and I’m ready to start sharing a little more of what I experienced. If you happen to remember, please be praying for me in this area, too. There are so many thoughts and so much to say.

When you are going through something so awful, many times it is hard to talk through. Those around you are constantly trying to cheer you and take your mind off things- I know it’s because they love you.

Sometimes, at least for me, it was refreshing to just actually share all those horrible details with someone. I wanted them to know exactly what was happening in my home. I wanted someone to know and hear me say I knew I was losing my mother. I wanted them to look at me- not like they do when we so often respond “I’m fine” (when we aren’t), but rather through an honest view of what was happening. It’s what we do when we share burdens.

I miss my mom. She was beautiful inside and out. I’ve written so many times before how I KNOW I am so blessed that she is my mother.

Well, that is my randomness for today.

I have much to be grateful for –

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