Tracy / October 2, 2013

Please be praying for Debi’s family this morning.

When my mama was first diagnosed with cancer, I went searching for anyone who had the same diagnosis and prognosis.  I just wanted to know we weren’t alone.

As it turned out, I only found this one lady.  Uterine cancer is completely curable if caught early enough.  Caught later, there really is no cure.  It’s rare that it grows to stage 4.

The Lord allowed me to find Debi.  Like my mama, she just looked so good, it was hard to believe she was so sick.  She was still going to the beach and working up until a few months back.

She tried rounds of chemo-therapy and some trial treatments.  Eventually, they told her she was no longer a candidate and she was sent home.  These last months have been hard as she has had a great deal of pain.

Around midnight, I woke up and felt compelled to look over at her facebook page to see how she’s been doing.  Her family had left a message that she had passed in the 11 o’clock hour.

My heart was broken, and yet, relieved for her.  She was living through so much.

This morning, I’ve found myself re-living some of the moments from the beginning of this year.

Mama’s doctor was in a temporary office at the local hospital.  It was in the basement.  It just seemed so cold and hard to wait on him there.
Mama was crocheting a toy for Jackson (a giraffe that remains one of his favorites!).  I was crocheting dishcloths for Courtney’s hope chest.
I think we were both nervous about what we were to hear but we managed to laugh and make light of the situation.

Mama asked me to come back to the room where she was going to be examined.  Her doctor had a deep look of concern on his face.  He told us he would generally see less than 20% of his patients past a year when they have been diagnosed with stage 4 uterine cancer.  I don’t remember my exact reaction, only that I felt sick and I wanted to talk to Paul.
They asked me to step out so they could check to be sure Mama was healing.  When I came back in, she was crying.

I’m not honestly sure he even checked anything other than the small incisions on her abdomen.  She told me later he thought she didn’t have long to live.

I held her hand as we drove home that day.

I continue to think that this should get easier with time.  Everyone tells me it will.  So many days, I just feel stuck.

This morning, I am glad that Debi isn’t hurting now.  I’m thankful the Lord spared my mom the months of waiting for what was to be and the pain associated with this disease.

I wept this morning thinking back over these months and all I have experienced.  In many ways, it seems surreal, but I’m still surrounded by reminders.

Even yesterday, I received a call regarding her home…details that I’m expected to deal with even thought the mortgage company has changed the locks.

The house is not mine- it will not be mine.  I wish folks were more sensitive during situations like this.  Of course, they think about their needs- on this end of things, it’s painful to be there at all.

I think we just need prayer in this area.

I’m going to try to contact our estate attorney today to find out where we are in this process.

If you think on it today, please pray for Debi’s family, and for us.

2 thoughts on “Debi

  1. Dear Tracy,
    I just want to let you know that I have been praying all the way over here in Australia since your Moms diagnosis.Since her passing I have been praying for peace and comfort for you all.Was thrilled to hear of your newest blessing and am praying for a healthy pregnancy for you all.May you feel our heavenly Fathers love and comfort ever near to you today.

    1. Janelle,
      Thank you so much for your kind words and especially your prayer. We’ve really needed them this year! I know so many folks have been praying. I just don’t think we would have made it through without all of you!

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